grapegarden: "Can you hear them, Princess? Do they still whisper my name?" (There Will Be Kirby)
[personal profile] grapegarden
Title: Secret Science Theater
Author: Streak the Hedgehog/Shamanic Shaymin
Fandom: Animal Crossing (Original) Sonic the Hedgehog (MSTing party)
Genre: Romance/Angst/MST.
Rating: R
Warnings: Crude humor, sexual innuendo. Wangst overload and bad language in the original.
Ships/Characters: Totakeke/Mabel (Original), one-sided Sonic/Amy, implied Rouge/Knuckles/Shadow, Tails (MST)
Finished: Yes

Chapter 3: The night everything was lost

Sonic: Even the TV!

Mabel gave a start when she heard the knocking. She had been dreaming... dreaming about her and Totakeke.

Rouge: The dream was something like the Shinji-finds-Asuka-in-a-coma scene from "End of Evangelion." You don't want to know.
Tails: Totakeke was playing with the lightswitch in her room and she turned into Uboa.

She was kissing him... he was caressing her... they loved each other... it had felt so real... she never wanted to wake up... She wished it could really happen...

Sonic: We'd get into the juicy bits, but as Totakeke pointed out…
Tails: Over and over…
Sonic: And over and over again, "It would never work out."

She walked sadly to the door and opened it. She saw who it was and suddenly masked her depression. "I told you that I never wanted to see you again!" She said angrily, while Totakeke looked at her dejectedly.

Knuckles: Make up your mind already! Either you love him or you hate him! You can't have both!
Sonic: Sure you can, knucklehead! Watched any romantic comedies lately?
Knuckles: This isn't exactly a comedy.

"Look, I wanted to come to tell you that I was sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry," he said, walking up to her. "Maybe we could try to work it out... it... might work. Just so long as... nobody saw..."

Everybody: *applause*
Rouge: Wow. I've dated some pathetic men, but that's the worst apology I've ever heard in my life.
Amy: Totakeke is such a jerk! "Hey, I'm sorry I rejected you! Maybe I can give you a chance, as long as you're not with me in public. Can't be seen with a pitiful heartbroken fangirl who's a different species from me!"
Knuckles: Are we even supposed to sympathize with this guy?
Sonic: Seriously! Even my Archie self from the Dark Ages was better than this! And not just because he’s cool and blue like me.

But Mabel wasn't paying any attention again. She wanted to do something that Totakeke would hate her for right now... but... she had to... so badly... and she did.

Tails: *as Mabel* I own the Kidz Bop collection of all your songs. They're better than the originals!

"She's kissing me again." Thought Totakeke and Mabel had closed the door behind him and had pulled him close to her again, kissing him. "She's kissing me and I... like it." He closed his eyes and, to Mabel's great surprise, put his arms around her. But instead of Totakeke pulling away, Mabel pulled away this time.

Shadow: That was anti-climatic.
Rouge: Could this be any more sterile? I've read Microsoft Excel spreadsheets more passionate than this.

"Totakeke... you said... you said it... you said that you didn't love me..." she said, shocked. Totakeke's whole personality seemed to have changed. He was looking straight at Mabel in a loving sort of way... "But... I... changed my mind," he said. "I... do love you."

Sonic: NOT!
Knuckles: How fickle is Totakeke anyway?
Tails: Considering how fast their relationship goes back and forth, they should be seeing a psychologist instead of dating. This can't be healthy.

Mabel just stared. Suddenly, Totakeke was kissing HER, which shocked her at first. But it wasn't like she had felt it in the dream. In the dream, his kisses had felt a bit rough, as though he had never done it or didn't want to.

Rouge: That last part… it doesn't sound consensual.
Amy: Please don't tell me this fic is going that route!

But his kisses... they were like... she couldn't describe it.

Shadow: Just like an H.P. Lovecraft story. She could see into forever and went mad from the revelation.

She shuddered under his touch... she had always wanted this... she had never wanted to own a shop... she just wanted Totakeke and nothing else...

Rouge: Ahh, the old "dump-your-career-for-a-man" cliché! I was wondering when it would rear its head.
Tails: Isn't the shop owned by both Able Sisters though? And it's the place where Sable raised Mabel since they were small and lost their parents! She'd be leaving behind a home with a lot of sentimental value.
Knuckles: I doubt the author has talked to Sable enough to know their canon backstory before writing this.

And Totakeke wanted her. Now that he had her in his arms he never wanted to let go. He just wanted to snap his guitar in two and come and live with her... But then he remembered something that made him stop those thoughts...

Rouge: Oh, it's in reverse too! Don't see that often. Looks like he figured out the ridiculousness of this trope, huh?
Sonic: *as K.K.* Wait a minute, that guitar costs a lotta money!

He broke away from her, looking deep into her eyes. "That... is what love feels like..." he said mysteriously. "That... is all I can give you..." And he turned around, picked up his guitar, and left.

Shadow: "I am a heartbreaker. My name is Charles."

"N-no... he's gone already..." she dropped to her knees, already crying. "But... but... I loved him... how could he just leave like that..." And she burst into tears and ran out the door, only to run into Totakeke... but... he... no... "Totakeke... why..."

Sonic: *as Mabel* He TP'd the shop and it's not even Halloween! I am SO egging his trailer car tonight!

He was with... another girl. It was, obviously, another dog. He turned to he quickly. "I'm so sorry, Mabel... I told you... it wouldn't work out." The other dog looked just like Totakeke, only pink. She also had a guitar similar to his. This is why he was in love with her, because she was so much like him.

Everybody: WHAAAAAAAAT!?
Amy: *enraged* Where did that come from!? Are you saying that Totakeke was completely oblivious that he had a girlfriend before he started thinking about dating Mabel!? That stupid no-good CHEATER! *leaps from her seat and smashes the screen with her Piko-Piko hammer* *the screen never breaks, however, and conveniently goes on to describe the Sonic gang's mood*

Mabel looked like her brain had just stopped.

Tails: Wait a second. His date is exactly like Totakeke, but pink? I'm trying to picture it in my head…
Rouge: *scribbles something on a pad of paper and shows it to Tails* You mean something like this?
Sonic: So… Totakeke is dating a drag queen?
Rouge: Eh, nothing to fuss about. Crossdressers attend Club Rouge all the time.

Then she ran right up to Totakeke, turned him to face her... and slapped him, hard, across the face, before running back into her house to sob again.

Amy: *huffing back into her seat, still seething* Serves him right!

Totakeke yelped with pain and held his hand to the place where he had been slapped. The other dog, whose name was Pansy, hurried over to him. "Oooh! Are you ok!" she asked anxiously.

Sonic: …Pansy? Really?
Tails: If I was a drag queen myself, I'd pick a far less unfortunate name.

"Yah... I'm fine..." Totakeke said untruthfully. "Let me have a look..." Pansy said, trying to draw away his hand. "I'm fine!" Totakeke said, a trace of anger in his voice. "I should go inside and comfort her..." he thought out loud. "Why? She just slapped you!" Pansy said. "No... she... truly loved me, Pansy. I should go talk to her." And with that he went back over to the house and went inside again.

Rouge: If I was Pansy, I'd demand some answers before dumping his sorry ass on the concrete.
Shadow: Then you should assassinate him.

***

Mabel was on her bed, not doing anything. She had apparently lost the will to live.


Knuckles: *as Tommy Wiseau* Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this wuuuuurrrld!

She just wanted to lie here forever and savor the taste that Totakeke's lips had left on hers...

Sonic: He must have borrowed that lip gloss from Pansy.

"Totakeke... why did you do that... love me... yet lie that you did..." she said softly. She knew now that she must... she gulped... give up on Totakeke.

Amy: Took you that long to figure it out! *groan*

Maybe she would just go it alone forever. He already loved someone else, so there was no point in loving him anymore...

Sonic: In the wild world of Animal Crossing, polymory is unheard of.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. "Go away," she said, her voice muffled by her silent sobbing. "It's me," said Totakeke anxiously. "In that case, fuck off." She called back.

Totakeke thought for a moment. "Why is she so mad at me?" he thought.


Amy: …hdjksghkjsghskfjgbhkjfghfkjbhfkjb
Shadow: …I’d like to use a .gif to express my contempt.
Rouge: Suit yourself.
Shadow: *presses a button on the arm of his chair, and the animation temporarily flashes on the screen*
Sonic: Hehe. Didn’t know you had it in you, Shads!
Shadow: Humph.

Then he remembered. The kiss... he remembered the kiss that he had shared with her.

Amy: My turn! *presses a button and a macro shows up*

He had only wanted that because he hadn't seen Pansy in such a long time.

Rouge: Just couldn't keep it under the fur, could he?
Tails: You'd think with how laid back he is in canon, he'd show more restraint.

Now that he had met up with her again it was her he wanted to be with... but he had to help a disappointed fan.

Shadow: Helping Mabel come up with a demeaning epitaph on his gravestone before she buries him alive.

Totakeke opened the door anyway and stepped inside. He was horrified and awed at the same time... for what he saw was amazing.

Knuckles: If it’s not related to the Terrible Secret of Animal Crossing, we're not interested.

All of this merchandise... all of it... but all of it. Destroyed. All of the plush dolls... torn. All of the posters... ripped.

Sonic: All the condoms… burned.
Amy: All the body pillows… stabbed.
Rouge: All the voo-doo dolls… oh wait.

He looked over at Mabel who still had tears streaming down her face, staring at Totakeke. He walked over to her and sat down on her bed, sighing lightly.

"Look, Mabel, I'm sorry. I just don't love you the way you love me. It wouldn't work anyway. We're not even the same species. You have a job to do. I do as well... but... well, I can always use some help on the road. That's why I love Pansy," Totakeke said, and he stopped there.

Knuckles: He calls this "helping a disappointed fan"?
Tails: With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Mabel was looking up at him with wide eyes. She reached over to a drawer and pulled a knife out of a drawer. "What are you going to do with-" Totakeke began,

Amy: Called it! I knew she would murder him!
Tails: I'm closing my eyes. This could get ugly.
Amy: What kind of ugly?
Tails: Takashi Miike's Audition-ugly.

but suddenly he heard a scream outside. It was Pansy!

Amy: *as Pansy* Oh no! My mascara's running!
Tails: *as Sable* Don't mind her, she's just reading the works of the Marquis de Sade.
Rouge: Pansy discovered the kink meme of the “Supernatural” fandom.
Knuckles: She saw the sales figures of the live-action "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movies.
Shadow: She realized that they were on Earth all long.
Sonic: After seeing his balls, Pansy learned that there was a reason Tom Nook wore that apron!

Totakeke dashed out of Mabel's room and out of her house. Two gorillas had gotten hold of Pansy and were attempting to drag her away! "Help me!" Pansy yelled at Totakeke, holding out her hand for him to grab, but one of the gorillas punched her on her head and knocked her out. They then succeeded to drag her away before Totakeke could do anything.

Knuckles: Then they carried her to the top of the Empire State Building like King Kong.

At the same time he heard a scream from Mabel's room.

Sonic: She's watching a zombie movie. Leave her alone!
Shadow: Maybe she's playing "Amnesia: The Dark Descent."
Rouge: *as Sable* Mabel, what did I tell you about reading creepypasta after midnight?
Tails: Where is Sable anyway? You'd think she'd gotten suspicious and followed him home.

She must've... committed suicide.

Amy: Way to go thinking that she's already dead. You could've done something, like calling the cops!
Shadow: This is Fic!Totakeke we're talking about. Everybody in this story is too dumb to live.

Totakeke burst into tears. He had lost everything he had in a single night.

Sonic: Can't say I feel sorry for him!
Rouge & Amy: *singing* He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He only had himself to blaaaaaaame~!
If you had been there, if you had seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!


~

Tails: ...Wasn't there supposed to be a fourth chapter to this?
Sonic: Guess the author never got around it.
Rouge: So it means it's over?
Knuckles: Looks like it.
Shadow: *smirks* Heh. What a fitting end.
Amy: All right! I'm going to play some more "Animal Crossing" to get this off my mind!
Sonic: Hehe. That addictive of a game, huh?
Amy: Definitely! And I can visit your town anytime I want…
Sonic: *nervously* Uh… I'll pass!
Amy: Hey! Get back here! *chases after him while everyone leaves the theater*

Date: 2014-08-15 02:46 am (UTC)
sarajayechan: &hearts; <lj user="guardians_song"> (WHY ATHOS WHYYYY)
From: [personal profile] sarajayechan
I finally got around to reading this and I'm like. Wow. XD WTF was K.K. even DOING in this fic? "I love you Mabel but I don't love you and I have a girlfriend OH NOES ONE GIRL GOT KIDNAPPED AND THE OTHER DIED!!!!". It's like...I can't take this as a serious fic, it has to be a parody.

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grapegarden: The opening cutscene to the fourth level of Kirby's Adventure, Grape Garden. Poor Kirby just lost all his balloons! :o (Default)
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