grapegarden: Totally not distracted, I swear! (Solitaire)
[personal profile] grapegarden
I've been reading lots of toxic shit lately, namely Chapter 16 of Gabriel's Inferno for an analytical beatdown at [community profile] das_sporking. Then there's all the dramatic readings of 50 Shades of Grey I've been listening to to stomach myself for the movie opening on Friday the 13th. I think it's safe to say I could use some old-fashioned stupidfic to lighten up my mood... and this short Mother 1 yaoific will do. :)

I actually found it here, but the actual link to the story isn't listed. Plus the commentary can be summed up as "EW YAOI AND LEMONZ!!11!" anyway. Oh why the hell not, let's make fun of the commentary too. A MST of a MST! MSTCEPTION.

Title: Trash Science Theater
Author: Anonymous/TheReviewer18/Shamanic Shaymin
Fandom: Earthbound Zero (Original) Five Nights at Freddy's (MSTing party)
Genre: Romance/Erotica/MST.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Crude humor, language, and sexual innuendo. UNDERAGE SEX, homophobic blather and OOCness in the original.
Ships/Characters: Ninten/Loid (Original), Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy (MST)
Finished: Yes

Mike Schmidt: *exasperated* Look bots, you can do whatever you want, just leave me the hell alone. Here, read this. This should give you something to do. And buy me some time before 6 AM.

*the robots gather around as the security guard projects something in the cameras*

Freddy: Oh boy! A fanfic!
Bonnie: This sure is gonna be fun!
Foxy: Arrrr! Let's begin!

This first story isn't on this sight...actually, I totally forget which site it's from!

Bonnie: This fic is something you smell, not see!
Foxy: This story can only be read in Braille!

All I know is that I hate hate HATE this story!


I don't know if it's my MOTHER fanboy instinct or my hate for lemons and Yaoi...but here's our first story!

Chica: Looks like it's his last! There's no other chapters after this.
Bonnie: He must have ate a poisonous lemon and died!
Foxy: Who knew yaoi could be so lethal?

Lets get started! BTW, if it's bolded, it's my commentary.


Chica: 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16--!
Freddy: *smacks her on the back*
Chica: Thanks! I needed that.

hi guys! Im here barring gifts, here's my new yaoi story!

Bonnie: You're blocking us from presents? Noooooo!

Capitalization, much?

Freddy: Here he is, folks! Our smart, intelligent riffer!
Chica: But yaoi isn't always capitalized, is it?
Foxy: Pot? Meet kettle!

Heres our first story, sexy in a trash can!


Freddy: I know I'm sexy wherever I go! *dances and sings* I'm... too sexy for this trash can! Too sexy for this trash can! Too sexy for this trash can, man! I'm... too sexy for this pizza, too sexy for this pizza, too sexy for this—
Chica: *smacks him on the back* No more!

Ninten had obtained the first 3 melodies, and now he was going to finally get his fourth in Merrysville!

Everybody: Yaaaaaaaaay!

Um...Spookane, anyone? You get the 4th in Spookane...-_-*

Foxy: Yaaarrr, don't be a party pooper. You can get the melodies in any order you want!
Chica: I always save the chick for last!

He went into a building called Twinkle Elementary and started talking to some of the kids..."Hey, do you know that the geek Lloyd came out of the closet?" he asked Ninten.

Chica: Like the janitor!
Bonnie: Lloyd loves mops as much as he loves rockets!

Ninten quickly replied, "You mean he's gay?"

Foxy: Why else do you think this place is called Twinkle Elementary, eh?

The kid looked at Ninten...with a soul crushing gaze, her replied sarcastically: "No, he's straight!"

Bonnie: You're both wrong! He's bisexual!


Freddy: Hugs for everyone!

Ninten heard from some other kids that Lloyd was on the roof. He went to the roof to find him.

Foxy: Hey, who's the janitor? Chopped liver?
Chica: He went to Magicant to become the Forgotten Man.
Bonnie: That's what happens in the Land of Fanfic when you're not hot!

He never told anyone, but he was gay, too. It was the way he was born, and he wouldn't change!

Chica: *singing* I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way!

How motivational...BTW, I want you to know that I have nothing against homosexuals. I just hate it when fanboys change characters sexual orientation for the hell of it!

Foxy: What sexual orientation? The game gives no indication of anyone's sexuality. You could think Lloyd is gay, straight, bi, or ace, and you'd be right!
Bonnie: What makes you think Lloyd's straight? You're not Shigesato Itoi! And I don't think he cares either!
Chica: It's okay not to like yaoi! But it's not nice to tell others they can't either.
Freddy: Gay or straight or bi or pan or ace, everybody deserves a chance to star in fanfics~!

Ninten looks at the trash can on the roof, and takes off the lid. A kid jumps out, and pleads, "Don't hurt me, please!"


"I'm not going to hurt you!" said Ninten. Actually, I heard you were a homosexual!"

Freddy: Boys and girls, check it out! It's the world's best pick-up line!
Foxy: *as Ninten* I ain't gonna hurt ya! No wait, you're gay. Nevermind!

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Lloyd.

Bonnie: Good question! I don't know either!

"I've never met a gay person my age before! And I guess I..." Ninten was almost speechless.

Buckle your seat belts!

Foxy: We're gonna ride Space Mountain!

"I wanted to try a few things..."

Bonnie: *as Ninten* Like sell myself to the first gay prostitute I find!

Lloyd was blushing crazy...

"follow me!" he commanded, a little nervous, as Ninten followed him. He led them to the boys washroom, and was lucky no one was there...

Chica: Actually, Lloyd would take him to the science lab.
Freddy: Chica, what are you saying? They're still little boys in this story!
Chica: Oh no! Nobody warned me this was gonna be shota!
Bonnie: Now I feel dirty!

Brace yourselves

Freddy: The fact that Lloyd's sexuality was "changed for the hell of it" is worse than underage sex!
Foxy: I think the author straight up forgot they were still kids when they first met.

Ninten, knowing he would be the top, pushed Lloyd into a stall sexually. They began kissing roughly, but they were inexperienced.

Bonnie: How would you know Lloyd isn't a dominant? Way to be assumptive, Ninten!

They were both so excited!

Foxy: Good thing the other stalls are available so one of us can vomit.

Ninten and Lloyd started taking their shirts off, and Ninten, having watched gay porn, knew to being touching Lloyds nipples, as Lloyd slipped off his trousers, in his under wear only now.

Chica: What kind of mom does Ninten have to let him watch gay porn at his age?
Freddy: *as Ninten* What do you mean, I don't have yaoi hands?
Bonnie: *as Ninten* Oh no! None of the men in my porn had foreskin!

Lloyd let out a soft moan as Ninten began licking Lloyd's upper body. He made his way down to Lloyds manhood, and slipped off the underwear slowly, and sexily, licking his lips.

Foxy: If the narrative tells me something is sexy, it must be true! E.L. James told me so!

Ge began stroking Lloyd's 3'5 inch cock. 'Small' Ninten thought.

Bonnie: That's because he's just a kid!
Chica: That's not what Teddy said 20 years later. *pause* Now I feel dirty.
Foxy: Wrong context, Chica. Wrong context.

Lloyd let out a loud moan, not used to the feeling. Sure, he'd masturbated, but it's not the same as getting a blow job. Ninten kept sucking, earning screams from Lloyd.


How does no one hear them...!?

Ninten: O_O

Lloyd: no!

Freddy: Now we got the REAL Ninten and Lloyd, definitely not being channeled through TheReviewer18!
Chica: Just like the REAL us, definitely not being channeled through Shamanic Shaymin!

"Ninten! It feels so good!" screamed Lloyd as he started humping into Nintens mouth. "Ninten, I'm close!" he screamed once again.

Freddy: *as Lloyd* I'M COMING SUGAR-DADDY!

With one final thrust, he orgasmed in Nintens mouth, spraying some of his seed on Nintens torso. Now, it was Lloyd's turn. Even though he was inexperienced, he would try.

Bonnie: *as Lloyd* I may be a wimp, but now it's my turn to fight! You can take it easy in here.
Chica: Bonnie? I hate you.

He stripped Ninten and began the blow job. Sucking fast, it was only minutes before he started moaning.

"F...Fuck, Lloyd, so good," he moaned, "I...I'm gonna...oh!" he screeched as he orgasmed in Lloyd's mouth.

Freddy: Someone finally beat Sonic in who can give the fastest BJs!

Gay blows creep me out...I don't know why. Your thoughts, boys?

Foxy: Different strokes for different folks. But we're talkin' gay sex in general, ain't we?
Bonnie: Are you sure you're not homophobic?
Freddy: *as TheReviewer18* I'm not homophobic! I just think gay sex is icky!

Ninten: I need a restraining order...

Lloyd: So do I...

Chica: *as Ninten & Lloyd* Not from Edward Cullen though. He's hot! And straight!

Now, for the grand finale...

Bonnie: *clapping* Oh boy oh boy! More pedophilia!
Freddy: *plays Toreador March*

Ninten leaned Lloyd over the toilet in the stall. He was a little nervousness, but excited to try giving Lloyd a rim-job. Fast and wild, he began licking the geeks ass, earning pleasurable moans as Lloyd jacked off.

Chica: Ewww... I don't know about you, but over a toilet is the last place I want a rimjob.
Foxy: Not to mention all the germs and cocaine and alcohol and heroin. Yuck!

"Ninten, I'm close," said Lloyd, thrusting fastet. "Ah..ah, Ninten!"

And then, Ninten stopped. He positioned his erect member at Lloyd's arse hole.

"Ready?" Ninten asked. Lloyd nodded, yes.

Freddy: Lube is always optional, especially if it's for your first time!

Oh boy...hating this...Boys?

Ninten: When am I getting that restraining order?

Lloyd: Why am I the bottom?

Chica: I like how that's Lloyd's only concern.
Freddy: Silly Ninten! Don't you know how useless restraining orders are?
Bonnie: Ask any stalker!

Ana: *Gasp* Yaoi! Do want! *drools*

Chica: Yaoi fangirl or not, I don't think Ana'd be too happy to see her friends engaging in underage sex in a crappy fanfic.

Teddy: I really hope I don't end up in this...

Too late, Teddy! Sorry!

Foxy: You mean to tell me we're missing out on Teddy porn? No Teddy/Lloyd, Teddy/Ninten, Geigue/Teddy or Teddy/B.B. Gangbang? We've been robbed, I tell ye! Robbed!

Teddy: This authors so dead...what's his name.

I was too lazy to check...

Chica: "My wife and kids are dead! Who's responsible for this?" "Sorry, too lazy to check."
Foxy: Teddy's not gonna care about some piss-poor fanfic. Hurt his friends, on the other hand...

Ninten pushed into the other boy, causing a small moan in pain. "Tell me when I can move," Ninten warned.

Bonnie: "Warned" is not the right word to use in this situation.

They waited what felt like hours until Lloyd spoke the magic word: "Go!"

Chica: Abracadabra!
Freddy: Presto!
Bonnie: Hocus Pocus!
Foxy: Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho!

Ninten began thrusting. In out, In out, it felt so good. As the pleasure increased, so did his speed.

Lloyd moaned, "NINTEN! It's so good! It's too much! I can't take it!"

Bonnie: *as Lloyd* In fact, I must SING~!

Ninten returned the moan, "Lloyd...your so fucking tight!" he yelled, slapping the younger boys ass, hard, but passionately. "I can't take it! Im close!" he screamed, as he continued his hard thrusts.

Freddy: This is going to be a short Cinema Snob episode.

Then, Lloyd jumped on him and started riding him. It didn't take long before the bliss was about to end.

Chica: Lloyd slipped into the toilet, didn't he?
Bonnie: We told you the bathroom wasn't a good place for a first time!

"Ninten...I..I'm gonna! Ah!" Lloyd yelled.

"Me too! Argh!" yelled Ninten.

Foxy: Arrrrr! Spoken like a true pirate, mate!

And when Lloyd dropped on Ninten's cock one last time, he orgasmed as he screamed "NINTEN~"

Bonnie: In D Major!
Freddy: No sharps or flats.

He sprayed his seed all over Ninten's body.

"L...lloyd, fuck! Fuck!" Ninten screamed, filling the silver haired boys ass with his cum.

WERE FREE! It's over!

Chica: Anyone else imagining TheReviewer18 getting an orgasm from that?


"A...mazing..." stammered Lloyd as he walked out of the stall.

The 2 decided to go together on the journey, seeing what else would happen.


Foxy: That's it. On my next RPG Maker game, I'm adding a character that you get into your party by paying them with sex.
Chica: Who needs the Defeat Means Friendship trope when you can just use prostitution?

Tell me how my commentary was...R&R! Chapter 2 to be released soon. I still have to update Fallin Love. BTW, I'm cancelling Mother-The journey because I really just don't have a lot of inspiration...

Chica: Oh come on, we riffed more than you did! Where's my pizza!?
Bonnie: Now that this fic's over, let's go find the security gua—


Freddy: Hurry everyone! Back to your places!
Foxy: Arrrgh! You won't get away next time, Mike!


Mike Schmidt: *panting in the safety of his home* Damn. I can't believe that worked...

Date: 2015-02-12 11:00 pm (UTC)
sarajayechan: we'll get to the bottom of this (Saionji)
From: [personal profile] sarajayechan
Yay, it's been a long time since I read a Puri!MST. This was hilarious, I loved the FNaF crew's wisecracks and banter to pieces. And man, the original fic was awful but the MST was just a glorified flame. I've always rolled my eyes at "MSTs" that exist just to whine about things the MSTer hates. (Like these, because I must always point these out. They were the first MSTs I ever saw of this type, anyway. XD)

Date: 2015-02-14 03:35 am (UTC)
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Touga/Saionji :: Nice Hair)
From: [personal profile] shamanicshaymin
I missed MSTing. Especially since there's so much I still have to riff! (I haven't forgotten you, Cori Falls and Cupcakes) The FNaF crew felt like a great match, considering how protective they are of children. :) Yeah, the original fic is stupid, but the first "MST" glossed all over that just to whine about how much they hate yaoi. What a waste!
Edited Date: 2015-02-14 03:40 am (UTC)

Date: 2015-02-14 03:42 am (UTC)
sarajayechan: we'll get to the bottom of this (Alvin/Brittany)
From: [personal profile] sarajayechan
I've been getting back to working on my MSTings lately. My problem is I can never finish any, sob. Last one I managed was like...7 years ago? IDK. XD But I have an Utena-cast MSTing of "Poetic Justice"!

Seriously. I admit, I may have fallen into that in old MSTings that thankfully never saw the light of day. But I managed to overcome that. And I tried to keep things funny otherwise.

Date: 2015-02-15 01:31 pm (UTC)
tentaclesock: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tentaclesock
"This is going to be a short Cinema Snob episode" was my favorite line.

In all seriousness, what an irritating "riffer." He doesn't sound any more mature than the fic writer, and he seems to assume that the audience shares his dislike of yaoi and so would not expect him to make any actual jokes.

Date: 2015-02-15 05:55 pm (UTC)
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Utena/Anthy :: Reunited)
From: [personal profile] shamanicshaymin
Would you believe I actually considered doing the original fic alone? But the guy's commentary got under my nerves, and I felt like I couldn't leave it unriffed.
Edited Date: 2015-02-15 05:56 pm (UTC)


grapegarden: The opening cutscene to the fourth level of Kirby's Adventure, Grape Garden. Poor Kirby just lost all his balloons! :o (Default)

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