A Warm Place: The MST (Part 1)
Jan. 11th, 2005 11:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grapegardenThe MST we've all been waiting for, yo. ;)
Title: A Warm Place: The MST
Author: Jigglypuff in Blue Ribbons
Fandom: Pokémon (Original) Mario (MSTing Party)
Genre: Romance/Drama (Original), Humor/Parody.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sexual content, (Original) pervy jokes, and language
Pairings: R*cketshipping (Original), implied Mario/Peach.
Finished: No
Rocket Science Theater
By Puri-chan
A Warm Place
Rating: PG-13 (language, adult content)
James comforts Jessie when she has a nightmare about one of her worst fears coming true. A short story (well, short for me) written in response to all of those "Rocketshippy" death fics. (Sorry folks, but I can't stand death in fanfic -- it's not intriguing, it's not Rocketshippy, and meeting again in Heaven does NOT make it happy or acceptable! This is my protest of all death fics.)
Peach: ...I feel cold. But it could be just the air conditioning here.
This piece is my response to all of those "Rocketshippy" death fics out there. It was originally a continuation of Memories of Tears by Mystic Vaporeon (because that's the one that upset me the most), but it didn't really make me feel better. So instead, I've changed it into a generic anti-death piece.
Geno: *curiously* ...An anti-death piece?
Mario: Sounds like it's going to be one of those euthanasia rants.
Bowser: Ooh! Bring on the political popcorn!
Now, why was it necessary for me to write this story?
Daisy: *as author* ‘Cause James is lyke, one of the hawtest Anime’ guys eva!!!
Bowser: *as author* To prove that James is not gay because he loves Jessie!
Mario: *as author* Rocketshipping is the one and true Anime’ couple, and anyone who disagrees with me must convert to my beliefs or suffer a most untimely and painful death! Ah ha ha!
Well, I originally wrote it because Mystic's fic was depressing me to no end. James dying and Jessie getting over his death, living her life without him, and never seeing him again until she died of old age 60 years later had to be, without a doubt, one of the saddest things I've ever read! 8_8
Luigi: …Lil’ Brudder! *SOB* He’ll make it on his own…
Daisy: You want sad? Read My Inner Life by Link’s Queen in one sitting and you’ve have some hair-pulling tragedy.
Peach: The ending to “West Side Story” was so sad! ;_;
Luigi: Don’t forget “Grave of the Fireflies”!
Mario: Or Britney Spears.
Bowser: Or Christina Agelaria… or Jennifer Lopez… or Jessica Simpson…
And after I read Memories of Tears, I found out (the painful way) that it's not the only fic like that -- there's an entire genre of this "James dies young, and Jessie doesn't get to be with him again until she dies of old age many years later" stuff! O_o Another author named Kitten wrote a story called A Life Forever, which has the exact same premise as Memories of Tears -- it's about James dying young and Jessie living without him! 8_8
Geno: It's something called a "cliché", Cori. They appear all the time.
I don't know what's up with these kind of fics, but I have the sneaking suspicion that they were inspired by that God-awful Titanic movie. (Thankfully, I saved myself the $8 and 3 hours and never watched Titanic, but a few of my friends had the misfortune of seeing it, and they all said that it had a similar plot -- Jack died in the shipwreck, and Rose wasn't reunited with him until she died of old age. Like I said...thank goodness I didn't see it!)
Peach: Well, I have to agree there for one thing—"Titanic" was awful!
Mario: Hey now, “Titanic” wasn’t that bad of a movie, but I didn’t think it deserved that many Oscars either.
Luigi: Not that the movie was really that sad. The romance was so sappy throughout the entire movie, and besides, the ending was like one of those “twu wuv 2getha fohevah!” things.
Bowser: *singing in a screech-like manner* Eeeeeevery night in mah dreeeeeeams, I seeee yoooooooou, I FEEEEEEEEL YOOOOOO—OWWWW!
Daisy: *pulling him by the hair with one hand and holding a mallet in the other* Don’t. You dare.
My question is, what the hell is supposed to be romantic about that?! The person you love dies, and you have to live your life without them?! That's not romantic -- it's just depressing!
Luigi: Well, it's a matter of opinion. Some people like "Final Fantasy" and others don't. Some people enjoy jumping in ice water in the middle of winter, others don't. You don't see me complaining.
And why do so many Rocketshippers feel the need to put Jessie and James in a similar situation? Why do they think killing one of them and making the other go on alone is so Rocketshippy?! If you ask me, separating them like that is one of the most anti-shippy things imaginable! I'm sorry, but J, J & M don't deserve that -- fics where they die are just wrong!
Peach: *as James* Hey look, there's Pikachu! *as Jessie* How could you!? You're not looking at me! You don't love me anymore! *SOB*
Everyone Else: *cracks up*
Thus, the need for a response to all of this tragedy and death. Since I can't stand the thought of my fave characters being without each other, I wrote this fic to show that the idea of one of them dying is nothing more than the stuff of nightmares and that it'll NEVER really happen!
Luigi: ...I hope this person never watched "Bambi" as a kid.
A Warm Place, though still what I consider to be somewhat of a sad story, is, in the end, a life-affirming piece which shows that Jessie and James are going to be together forever, no matter what! (No offense to Mystic, Kitten, or any other authors who've written TR death fics, but I truly hate tragic stories, and I really can't handle them!)
Geno: And drugs, sicknesses, assassins, stalkers, rapists, knives, guns, poisons, and betrayal all don't exist.
Mario: Except Zoloft and Prozac.
I'm warnin' ya right now, though, my fic is incredibly mushy -- just a bunch of catharsis on my...and Jessie's part. (I really think she took over while I was writing! +P).
Geno: *chuckles* Taking over your writing? I doubt that's possible.
Peach: Mushy? Well, like we didn’t know that already. ^^;
So if ya still wanna read this thing, don't say I didn't warn ya!
Bowser: Hey, we never wanted to in the first place!
*silence*
Mario: Hey… anyone here ever read Series of Unfortunate Events?
Geno: Dear Reader, I am sorry to say that the fanfic you are about to read is quite unpleasant. This is the tale about two happy Rockets, both falling for one another in a dreadfully OOC passion. This story may seem distressing at first, with a woeful dream, a cold virus and foreboding death, but do not be fooled. Their lives are laden with sugary-sweetness, romance, and dreams come true, starting the moment James confesses his love, to growing immortal and discovering their warm place, cinnamon toast, and a guardian angel. It is our sad duty to mock this merry tale, but there is nothing to stop you from escaping and reading another fanfic—a dark deathfic or BDSM, if you like these sort of things.
Peach: I’ll take that as a yes. *giggle*
Peach: Aw, how nice! We get a Keyboard-style rose for our welcome! :D ...But that won’t mean I’ll like them.
Jessie gasped as she was jolted from her slumber. Glancing around, she saw that she was surrounded by darkness.
And that she was alone.
Daisy: *as Jessie* Damn! I knew I shouldn’t have read all those Stephen King novels all night!
Luigi: Never watch "The Ring" before going to bed. *shudder*
Hot, bitter tears began to stream down her cheeks as the memories came flooding back to her mind. Memories of James's illness. The slow, painful deterioration of his health...and eventually, his death. She remembered his funeral and living her life without him. And she remembered that it had taken over sixty years for her to finally tell him that she loved him. Over sixty years before they were finally reunited in Heaven.
Bowser: Whuh-Wha-Wait a minute! Haven't we gone through all of this before?
Mario: *yawn* This story is coming off to a fast start.
Peach: It's amazing how much you know about the plot by reading the author's notes, isn't it? Even if we hadn't read them, I could figure out what was going to happen anyway...
As Jessie wiped the tears away she looked at her smooth, delicate hands for a moment.
Geno: *chuckles* Knowing Jessie, I find it difficult to imagine her being associated with the word "delicate".
They weren't the hands of an old woman. And she wasn't in Heaven, or even a hospital --
Bowser: She was in Hell! *laughs evilly*
Daisy: No! Make that "the Next Dimension"! :D
she was in her bed in the secluded mountain cabin that she and James shared.
But she was still alone. Where was James?!
Daisy: Cheating her. He went off to find Butch.
Peach: In the closet trying on dresses.
Luigi: Being abducted by aliens from outer space.
Mario: Got smacked on the head and started thinking he was a Butterfree. He jumped off a cliff thinking he could fly.
Geno: Got sucked inside a book and having marvelous adventures in a fantasy world.
Bowser: Pikachu shocked him and he died. The end!
Panic seized her, and she jumped from bed. She had to find him. If it had been real...if he really were dead, she didn't know what she was going to do! Jessie ran into the hall and opened the door across from hers. Much to her relief, James was there, sound asleep in his own bed. But she still wasn't quite sure if the part about his illness was real or not.
Luigi: No, he’s not dead—just resting. *winks at everyone* Monty Python, anyone?
Mario: *as James* Come closer, Jessie... I have something to say to you. *as Jessie* What is it? *as James* Now that I'm holding your hand, you will be infected with my illness within three days. Have a nice life!
The mentholated smell of vapo-rub intermingled with the scent of the roses he kept in a glass vase on his nightstand and formed a bizarre aroma that permeated his room. And there was no missing the rasping noise that came from his throat as he breathed. Yes, he was definitely sick.
Daisy: *as Jessie* Honestly, James! First Meowth and now this—keep your grimy hands off my hentai doujinshi!
But it wasn't some rare, incurable lung infection...
Luigi: …James should quit smoking.
Geno: It was worse than that. It was a flesh-eating bacterium that eventually will swallow him whole, quicker then Team Rocket could ever stop it.
it was only a cold. Everybody got colds in the winter. He was going to be fine.
Wasn't he?
Daisy: No he's not.
Jessie watched James for several minutes as he slept. He sounded congested, but his breathing was steady and rythmic. And he wasn't pale or emaciated like in her nightmare. It was, indeed, nothing more than a cold.
So why did she still feel so uneasy?
Mario: *as Jessie* Oh no! James is turning into a Pokémon! He's become a—a killer Dustox! Ruuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnn~!
Smoothing back her long, crimson hair, Jessie went to the kitchen and put a kettle of water on the stove. Maybe a hot mug of herbal tea would help to clear her mind.
Peach: *sigh* I wish I could have some tea too.
While she was waiting for the water to boil, Jessie went to the window and looked out at the forest. It had snowed during the night, and all the world was now covered in a blanket of white.
Bowser: *as Jessie* Oh my God... It's GODZILLA!
Daisy: *as Jessie* Argh! I wish those twerps would stop throwing snowballs at my window!
Peach: *as God* Good night, Earth! Here’s your blanket! *as Earth* Sweet dreams, God- AUWAAAH! It's cold! Oh SO cold! Wait, come to think of it, it's not so- *snore*
Daisy: Next scene! Throw a bucket of roses to indicate that, thanks.
Their boss had given them two weeks off for the holiday season.
Peach: Oh... you'd think Giovanni would be pretty angry at Team Rocket for failing so many times, don't you think?
Luigi: It's probably a setup so he can fire them while they're off guard.
Mario: Now that would be more in character for him. ^^;
Meowth had gone to Celadon City so that he could give Jessie and James a little time to themselves.
Daisy: 'Cause Lord knows they're about to do nasty things together.
Luigi: It could've been worse—Meowth could've stuck around as a matchmaker for Jessie and James's "twu wuv".
He wanted to visit the Rocket Game Corner, which was run by their friends, Annie and Oakley, and he wanted to visit Vulpix and Growly, too. He promised to catch up later so that they could all spend Christmas together.
Bowser: ...Annie? Oakley!?
Geno: Two female Rockets from the fifth movie, only in this fic, they're completely different.
Bowser: *blink* Right...
Mario: Weird—they have a Vulpix now? Must be a fic-only thing.
Meanwhile, Jessie and James had agreed that a romantic getaway was exactly what they needed.
Daisy: *As Jessie* Come on, James! Let's go into that X-rated movie theater so we can make out during all the steamy parts!
So, they'd gone to a remote Team Rocket cabin in the mountains of Johto. The cabin was surrounded by beautiful evergreen forests, a crystal-clear lake, and slopes perfect for skiing and sledding -- it was the perfect spot for a romantic vacation!
Peach: Crystal-clear? The lake must be made out of glass! That will hurt if someone crashes into that!
Bowser: *groan* A remote cabin... I wonder what this story is about.
However, when they'd arrived at the cabin on the first night, James had seemed unusually tired, and he'd complained of a sore throat and a headache.
Geno: Mmm…Team Rocket Boot Camp, anyone?
"I hope I'm not coming down with something," he'd remarked. His voice, which was normally smooth and melodic, had sounded a little scratchy.
"I hope not, either!" Jessie had told him. "I don't want anything to ruin our perfect vacation!"
Mario: *singing* They fight! They bite! They fight and bite and fight! Fightfightfight! Bitebitebite! The Itchy and Scratchy Shoooooooow~!!!
They'd both wanted to stay up late -- build a fire in the fireplace and cuddle with each other until the wee hours of the morning.
Bowser: Having se- Ahem! "Making love".
Daisy: *as Meowth* Hey guys, I'm back from vacashuh- wha-what are you two doing!? *as Jessie* Each other. Go away!
Mario: *as Pokémon Narrator* And that is how Ash and friends, especially for Meowth, learned how babies were born!
Peach: “Pokémon” will never be the same again.
Maybe even roast some marshmallows.
Peach: They're eating the citizens of Nimbus Land? That's horrible—cannibalistic even!
Geno: *worried expression* They're roasting Mallow?
But James just wasn't up for it. So, the two of them had gone to bed early.
Bowser: *as Jessie* How could you, James? I thought this was supposed to be our romantic night together!
When they'd awakened the next morning, James had a hacking cough, and when Jessie felt his forehead, she'd found that he had a fever, too. Not wanting her to get sick as well, he'd promptly moved to the room across the hall.
Geno: Which leads to further angsting, because it is simply unromantic of Jessie to not share her true love's cold germs with him.
Everyone Else: *cracks up*
So much for the romantic vacation.
A tear rolled down Jessie's cheek as she looked out the window. She'd spent the past three days caring for James. He'd been too sick to even get out of bed, and she'd had to feed him, give him medicine, and just try to keep him as comfortable as possible. She didn't mind doing all of these things for James -- she loved him, and she'd give her very life for him if she had to.
Mario: *as Jessie* Oops! I guess I gave him a bit too much morphine.
Geno: She'd give her life for him? Well, this brings an interesting question. What if she had to choose between killing James for a lifetime supply of cosmetics over dying herself?
But that was precisely why she was so upset --
Peach: *as Jessie* Damn that James! Because of him, I can't go on that massive shopping spree I planned today!
she was worried about him. Fortunately, his fever had broken yesterday morning, and his health had been improving since then, but fighting off the illness had worn out his immune system, and he'd still been bedridden during his convalescence.
Mario: Wait a minute—fevers don’t wear off anyone's immune system unless they have AIDS.
Bowser: Really?
Mario: I'm a doctor, I know these things.
Bowser: Augh! Oh yeah...
And then there was that nightmare she'd just had about his death.
Luigi: Which we are told about for the ten trillionth time.
What did it mean? Was it just because she'd been worrying about him for the past few days, or was it some kind of evil omen? It had all seemed so real, and she remembered everything in vivid detail.
Daisy: Vivid detail? As in, everything? If you think about it deeply enough… oh—EW! Nobody mention "body odor" to me. Just don't.
Bowser: So Jessie, tell us—boxers or briefs?
Everyone Else: XD
More tears welled up in Jessie's eyes as she recalled the dream once more. Every image of James growing sicker with each passing day and finally expiring,
Daisy: *sigh* What is James, anyway? A dairy product?
Luigi: He's a brand of Swiss cheese, that's what he is.
Bowser: Swiss cheese? James must have gone through some massive surgery! XD
of never getting to marry the man she loved or give birth to his children, of living her life without her soul-mate, was burned indelibly into her mind...and it was breaking her heart.
Mario: I’m hungry.
Luigi: Sorry Mario, outta popcorn.
Unable to bear the thoughts of the nightmare any longer, Jessie laid down on the couch and buried her face in the cushions as she continued to cry. In the dream, she'd eventually overcome the pain, but she honestly didn't know how she'd cope if she lost James in real life.
Peach: You coward! Count the number of times I have been kidnapped by Bowser, which is more than I can count. Let's not forget the fact I was almost married to Booster, the time when Bowser had the Star Rod and it seemed like Mario had died right before my eyes, when Cackletta captured me and nearly stole my voice, set in situations that could've meant my death, and do you see me whining that I'll never cope, even after these events were long past? After going through all that, how is a dream going to amount to anything? That's what I'd like to know!
Everyone Else: oO;
Bowser: …Whoa. You've snapped. oO;
Mario: ...Well, back when Booster was trying to marry you, you did cry over dropping your crown. ^^;
Peach: *laughs and pats the back of her head* So I cried… ^^; But it was over Booster, really.
In the kitchen, the kettle on the stove began to whistle, but Jessie didn't hear it. After a few minutes, the whistle became a scream, but she still paid it no mind. She was too wrapped up in her grief to even care anymore.
Geno: You're letting a filled kettle boil over to the point where it could possibly blow up the cabin along with James, who is still alive, and yourself in it, and you don't even care anymore?
Peach: She's too busy being wrapped up in a dream, that's why. *grumble*
A few more minutes passed, and the screaming kettle suddenly became silent.
Luigi: Intonation to countdown! 10… 9… 8…
"You know, you really shouldn't let that thing boil over," James chided her. "It might...."
But as he stepped closer to the couch and saw that Jessie was crying, he forgot all about the kettle.
Daisy: Aw, he turned it off! Too bad.
"Jess! What's the matter, sweetheart?!" he asked as he knelt next to her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.
Luigi: *as Jessie* *sniff* I can’t believe "Friends" is finally over! *SOB*
Bowser: *as James* There, there Jessie… you know I wasn’t happy either when “Dora the Explorer” got cancelled!
Jessie stopped crying when she heard the sound of James's voice and felt his warm, soft hand caressing her. She looked up at him and saw a concerned expression on his face.
He was a completely different man from the one she'd seen in her nightmare.
Daisy: Of course—that’s ‘cause he’s Butch. That’s why “James” had sounded so “croaked” lately.
When James had been dying in her dream, all of the light had gone out of his eyes, and they'd faded to a dull mossy color, but when she saw him now, his eyes were the same sparkling emerald-green that they'd always been.
Luigi: Ooh… James has light-bulbs for eyes!
Bowser: *as Jessie* Hey James, those are some really funky contact lenses you have there! Where can I get some?
Peach: *as James* At J.C. Penny! :DDD
And in the dream, his blue-violet hair had become limp and tangled from lack of grooming, but now, it was as soft, smooth, and shiny as ever. The pallid, gaunt, shell of a man that she'd seen in the nightmare was gone, and a rosy, healthy-looking one had taken his place.
Daisy: That’s ‘cause he’s been replaced with his stunt double. In case he has to touch a burning kettle to prevent it from getting in the way of he and Jessie’s True Love.
Peach: Jessie, James, and the tea kettle… the ultimate love triangle!
The only imperfection she could see now was that his nose was a little red, but that was only because he'd gone through an entire box of kleenex over the past few days, and he still had a case of the sniffles.
Daisy: Actually, the real reason was James had been reading Playboy magazines in bed.
James wasn't dying --
Bowser: No. He was DYING. *cackles*
Luigi: I wish…
he was just recovering from a cold! Still, the very sight of him reminded her of everything she'd seen in her nightmare, and she burst into tears again.
Everybody: …*sigh*
Mario: We'll get back to this later. Have a nice break...
Daisy: Whew… thank God! I could use a breather right now. *follows the others out*
End of Part 1
To be continued…
Title: A Warm Place: The MST
Author: Jigglypuff in Blue Ribbons
Fandom: Pokémon (Original) Mario (MSTing Party)
Genre: Romance/Drama (Original), Humor/Parody.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sexual content, (Original) pervy jokes, and language
Pairings: R*cketshipping (Original), implied Mario/Peach.
Finished: No
Rocket Science Theater
By Puri-chan
A Warm Place
Rating: PG-13 (language, adult content)
James comforts Jessie when she has a nightmare about one of her worst fears coming true. A short story (well, short for me) written in response to all of those "Rocketshippy" death fics. (Sorry folks, but I can't stand death in fanfic -- it's not intriguing, it's not Rocketshippy, and meeting again in Heaven does NOT make it happy or acceptable! This is my protest of all death fics.)
A Warm Place
by Cori Falls
by Cori Falls
Peach: ...I feel cold. But it could be just the air conditioning here.
@->->-
Author's Note
Author's Note
This piece is my response to all of those "Rocketshippy" death fics out there. It was originally a continuation of Memories of Tears by Mystic Vaporeon (because that's the one that upset me the most), but it didn't really make me feel better. So instead, I've changed it into a generic anti-death piece.
Geno: *curiously* ...An anti-death piece?
Mario: Sounds like it's going to be one of those euthanasia rants.
Bowser: Ooh! Bring on the political popcorn!
Now, why was it necessary for me to write this story?
Daisy: *as author* ‘Cause James is lyke, one of the hawtest Anime’ guys eva!!!
Bowser: *as author* To prove that James is not gay because he loves Jessie!
Mario: *as author* Rocketshipping is the one and true Anime’ couple, and anyone who disagrees with me must convert to my beliefs or suffer a most untimely and painful death! Ah ha ha!
Well, I originally wrote it because Mystic's fic was depressing me to no end. James dying and Jessie getting over his death, living her life without him, and never seeing him again until she died of old age 60 years later had to be, without a doubt, one of the saddest things I've ever read! 8_8
Luigi: …Lil’ Brudder! *SOB* He’ll make it on his own…
Daisy: You want sad? Read My Inner Life by Link’s Queen in one sitting and you’ve have some hair-pulling tragedy.
Peach: The ending to “West Side Story” was so sad! ;_;
Luigi: Don’t forget “Grave of the Fireflies”!
Mario: Or Britney Spears.
Bowser: Or Christina Agelaria… or Jennifer Lopez… or Jessica Simpson…
And after I read Memories of Tears, I found out (the painful way) that it's not the only fic like that -- there's an entire genre of this "James dies young, and Jessie doesn't get to be with him again until she dies of old age many years later" stuff! O_o Another author named Kitten wrote a story called A Life Forever, which has the exact same premise as Memories of Tears -- it's about James dying young and Jessie living without him! 8_8
Geno: It's something called a "cliché", Cori. They appear all the time.
I don't know what's up with these kind of fics, but I have the sneaking suspicion that they were inspired by that God-awful Titanic movie. (Thankfully, I saved myself the $8 and 3 hours and never watched Titanic, but a few of my friends had the misfortune of seeing it, and they all said that it had a similar plot -- Jack died in the shipwreck, and Rose wasn't reunited with him until she died of old age. Like I said...thank goodness I didn't see it!)
Peach: Well, I have to agree there for one thing—"Titanic" was awful!
Mario: Hey now, “Titanic” wasn’t that bad of a movie, but I didn’t think it deserved that many Oscars either.
Luigi: Not that the movie was really that sad. The romance was so sappy throughout the entire movie, and besides, the ending was like one of those “twu wuv 2getha fohevah!” things.
Bowser: *singing in a screech-like manner* Eeeeeevery night in mah dreeeeeeams, I seeee yoooooooou, I FEEEEEEEEL YOOOOOO—OWWWW!
Daisy: *pulling him by the hair with one hand and holding a mallet in the other* Don’t. You dare.
My question is, what the hell is supposed to be romantic about that?! The person you love dies, and you have to live your life without them?! That's not romantic -- it's just depressing!
Luigi: Well, it's a matter of opinion. Some people like "Final Fantasy" and others don't. Some people enjoy jumping in ice water in the middle of winter, others don't. You don't see me complaining.
And why do so many Rocketshippers feel the need to put Jessie and James in a similar situation? Why do they think killing one of them and making the other go on alone is so Rocketshippy?! If you ask me, separating them like that is one of the most anti-shippy things imaginable! I'm sorry, but J, J & M don't deserve that -- fics where they die are just wrong!
Peach: *as James* Hey look, there's Pikachu! *as Jessie* How could you!? You're not looking at me! You don't love me anymore! *SOB*
Everyone Else: *cracks up*
Thus, the need for a response to all of this tragedy and death. Since I can't stand the thought of my fave characters being without each other, I wrote this fic to show that the idea of one of them dying is nothing more than the stuff of nightmares and that it'll NEVER really happen!
Luigi: ...I hope this person never watched "Bambi" as a kid.
A Warm Place, though still what I consider to be somewhat of a sad story, is, in the end, a life-affirming piece which shows that Jessie and James are going to be together forever, no matter what! (No offense to Mystic, Kitten, or any other authors who've written TR death fics, but I truly hate tragic stories, and I really can't handle them!)
Geno: And drugs, sicknesses, assassins, stalkers, rapists, knives, guns, poisons, and betrayal all don't exist.
Mario: Except Zoloft and Prozac.
I'm warnin' ya right now, though, my fic is incredibly mushy -- just a bunch of catharsis on my...and Jessie's part. (I really think she took over while I was writing! +P).
Geno: *chuckles* Taking over your writing? I doubt that's possible.
Peach: Mushy? Well, like we didn’t know that already. ^^;
So if ya still wanna read this thing, don't say I didn't warn ya!
Bowser: Hey, we never wanted to in the first place!
*silence*
Mario: Hey… anyone here ever read Series of Unfortunate Events?
Geno: Dear Reader, I am sorry to say that the fanfic you are about to read is quite unpleasant. This is the tale about two happy Rockets, both falling for one another in a dreadfully OOC passion. This story may seem distressing at first, with a woeful dream, a cold virus and foreboding death, but do not be fooled. Their lives are laden with sugary-sweetness, romance, and dreams come true, starting the moment James confesses his love, to growing immortal and discovering their warm place, cinnamon toast, and a guardian angel. It is our sad duty to mock this merry tale, but there is nothing to stop you from escaping and reading another fanfic—a dark deathfic or BDSM, if you like these sort of things.
Peach: I’ll take that as a yes. *giggle*
@->->-
Peach: Aw, how nice! We get a Keyboard-style rose for our welcome! :D ...But that won’t mean I’ll like them.
Jessie gasped as she was jolted from her slumber. Glancing around, she saw that she was surrounded by darkness.
And that she was alone.
Daisy: *as Jessie* Damn! I knew I shouldn’t have read all those Stephen King novels all night!
Luigi: Never watch "The Ring" before going to bed. *shudder*
Hot, bitter tears began to stream down her cheeks as the memories came flooding back to her mind. Memories of James's illness. The slow, painful deterioration of his health...and eventually, his death. She remembered his funeral and living her life without him. And she remembered that it had taken over sixty years for her to finally tell him that she loved him. Over sixty years before they were finally reunited in Heaven.
Bowser: Whuh-Wha-Wait a minute! Haven't we gone through all of this before?
Mario: *yawn* This story is coming off to a fast start.
Peach: It's amazing how much you know about the plot by reading the author's notes, isn't it? Even if we hadn't read them, I could figure out what was going to happen anyway...
As Jessie wiped the tears away she looked at her smooth, delicate hands for a moment.
Geno: *chuckles* Knowing Jessie, I find it difficult to imagine her being associated with the word "delicate".
They weren't the hands of an old woman. And she wasn't in Heaven, or even a hospital --
Bowser: She was in Hell! *laughs evilly*
Daisy: No! Make that "the Next Dimension"! :D
she was in her bed in the secluded mountain cabin that she and James shared.
But she was still alone. Where was James?!
Daisy: Cheating her. He went off to find Butch.
Peach: In the closet trying on dresses.
Luigi: Being abducted by aliens from outer space.
Mario: Got smacked on the head and started thinking he was a Butterfree. He jumped off a cliff thinking he could fly.
Geno: Got sucked inside a book and having marvelous adventures in a fantasy world.
Bowser: Pikachu shocked him and he died. The end!
Panic seized her, and she jumped from bed. She had to find him. If it had been real...if he really were dead, she didn't know what she was going to do! Jessie ran into the hall and opened the door across from hers. Much to her relief, James was there, sound asleep in his own bed. But she still wasn't quite sure if the part about his illness was real or not.
Luigi: No, he’s not dead—just resting. *winks at everyone* Monty Python, anyone?
Mario: *as James* Come closer, Jessie... I have something to say to you. *as Jessie* What is it? *as James* Now that I'm holding your hand, you will be infected with my illness within three days. Have a nice life!
The mentholated smell of vapo-rub intermingled with the scent of the roses he kept in a glass vase on his nightstand and formed a bizarre aroma that permeated his room. And there was no missing the rasping noise that came from his throat as he breathed. Yes, he was definitely sick.
Daisy: *as Jessie* Honestly, James! First Meowth and now this—keep your grimy hands off my hentai doujinshi!
But it wasn't some rare, incurable lung infection...
Luigi: …James should quit smoking.
Geno: It was worse than that. It was a flesh-eating bacterium that eventually will swallow him whole, quicker then Team Rocket could ever stop it.
it was only a cold. Everybody got colds in the winter. He was going to be fine.
Wasn't he?
Daisy: No he's not.
Jessie watched James for several minutes as he slept. He sounded congested, but his breathing was steady and rythmic. And he wasn't pale or emaciated like in her nightmare. It was, indeed, nothing more than a cold.
So why did she still feel so uneasy?
Mario: *as Jessie* Oh no! James is turning into a Pokémon! He's become a—a killer Dustox! Ruuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnn~!
Smoothing back her long, crimson hair, Jessie went to the kitchen and put a kettle of water on the stove. Maybe a hot mug of herbal tea would help to clear her mind.
Peach: *sigh* I wish I could have some tea too.
While she was waiting for the water to boil, Jessie went to the window and looked out at the forest. It had snowed during the night, and all the world was now covered in a blanket of white.
Bowser: *as Jessie* Oh my God... It's GODZILLA!
Daisy: *as Jessie* Argh! I wish those twerps would stop throwing snowballs at my window!
Peach: *as God* Good night, Earth! Here’s your blanket! *as Earth* Sweet dreams, God- AUWAAAH! It's cold! Oh SO cold! Wait, come to think of it, it's not so- *snore*
@->->-
Daisy: Next scene! Throw a bucket of roses to indicate that, thanks.
Their boss had given them two weeks off for the holiday season.
Peach: Oh... you'd think Giovanni would be pretty angry at Team Rocket for failing so many times, don't you think?
Luigi: It's probably a setup so he can fire them while they're off guard.
Mario: Now that would be more in character for him. ^^;
Meowth had gone to Celadon City so that he could give Jessie and James a little time to themselves.
Daisy: 'Cause Lord knows they're about to do nasty things together.
Luigi: It could've been worse—Meowth could've stuck around as a matchmaker for Jessie and James's "twu wuv".
He wanted to visit the Rocket Game Corner, which was run by their friends, Annie and Oakley, and he wanted to visit Vulpix and Growly, too. He promised to catch up later so that they could all spend Christmas together.
Bowser: ...Annie? Oakley!?
Geno: Two female Rockets from the fifth movie, only in this fic, they're completely different.
Bowser: *blink* Right...
Mario: Weird—they have a Vulpix now? Must be a fic-only thing.
Meanwhile, Jessie and James had agreed that a romantic getaway was exactly what they needed.
Daisy: *As Jessie* Come on, James! Let's go into that X-rated movie theater so we can make out during all the steamy parts!
So, they'd gone to a remote Team Rocket cabin in the mountains of Johto. The cabin was surrounded by beautiful evergreen forests, a crystal-clear lake, and slopes perfect for skiing and sledding -- it was the perfect spot for a romantic vacation!
Peach: Crystal-clear? The lake must be made out of glass! That will hurt if someone crashes into that!
Bowser: *groan* A remote cabin... I wonder what this story is about.
However, when they'd arrived at the cabin on the first night, James had seemed unusually tired, and he'd complained of a sore throat and a headache.
Geno: Mmm…Team Rocket Boot Camp, anyone?
"I hope I'm not coming down with something," he'd remarked. His voice, which was normally smooth and melodic, had sounded a little scratchy.
"I hope not, either!" Jessie had told him. "I don't want anything to ruin our perfect vacation!"
Mario: *singing* They fight! They bite! They fight and bite and fight! Fightfightfight! Bitebitebite! The Itchy and Scratchy Shoooooooow~!!!
They'd both wanted to stay up late -- build a fire in the fireplace and cuddle with each other until the wee hours of the morning.
Bowser: Having se- Ahem! "Making love".
Daisy: *as Meowth* Hey guys, I'm back from vacashuh- wha-what are you two doing!? *as Jessie* Each other. Go away!
Mario: *as Pokémon Narrator* And that is how Ash and friends, especially for Meowth, learned how babies were born!
Peach: “Pokémon” will never be the same again.
Maybe even roast some marshmallows.
Peach: They're eating the citizens of Nimbus Land? That's horrible—cannibalistic even!
Geno: *worried expression* They're roasting Mallow?
But James just wasn't up for it. So, the two of them had gone to bed early.
Bowser: *as Jessie* How could you, James? I thought this was supposed to be our romantic night together!
When they'd awakened the next morning, James had a hacking cough, and when Jessie felt his forehead, she'd found that he had a fever, too. Not wanting her to get sick as well, he'd promptly moved to the room across the hall.
Geno: Which leads to further angsting, because it is simply unromantic of Jessie to not share her true love's cold germs with him.
Everyone Else: *cracks up*
So much for the romantic vacation.
@->->-
A tear rolled down Jessie's cheek as she looked out the window. She'd spent the past three days caring for James. He'd been too sick to even get out of bed, and she'd had to feed him, give him medicine, and just try to keep him as comfortable as possible. She didn't mind doing all of these things for James -- she loved him, and she'd give her very life for him if she had to.
Mario: *as Jessie* Oops! I guess I gave him a bit too much morphine.
Geno: She'd give her life for him? Well, this brings an interesting question. What if she had to choose between killing James for a lifetime supply of cosmetics over dying herself?
But that was precisely why she was so upset --
Peach: *as Jessie* Damn that James! Because of him, I can't go on that massive shopping spree I planned today!
she was worried about him. Fortunately, his fever had broken yesterday morning, and his health had been improving since then, but fighting off the illness had worn out his immune system, and he'd still been bedridden during his convalescence.
Mario: Wait a minute—fevers don’t wear off anyone's immune system unless they have AIDS.
Bowser: Really?
Mario: I'm a doctor, I know these things.
Bowser: Augh! Oh yeah...
And then there was that nightmare she'd just had about his death.
Luigi: Which we are told about for the ten trillionth time.
What did it mean? Was it just because she'd been worrying about him for the past few days, or was it some kind of evil omen? It had all seemed so real, and she remembered everything in vivid detail.
Daisy: Vivid detail? As in, everything? If you think about it deeply enough… oh—EW! Nobody mention "body odor" to me. Just don't.
Bowser: So Jessie, tell us—boxers or briefs?
Everyone Else: XD
More tears welled up in Jessie's eyes as she recalled the dream once more. Every image of James growing sicker with each passing day and finally expiring,
Daisy: *sigh* What is James, anyway? A dairy product?
Luigi: He's a brand of Swiss cheese, that's what he is.
Bowser: Swiss cheese? James must have gone through some massive surgery! XD
of never getting to marry the man she loved or give birth to his children, of living her life without her soul-mate, was burned indelibly into her mind...and it was breaking her heart.
Mario: I’m hungry.
Luigi: Sorry Mario, outta popcorn.
Unable to bear the thoughts of the nightmare any longer, Jessie laid down on the couch and buried her face in the cushions as she continued to cry. In the dream, she'd eventually overcome the pain, but she honestly didn't know how she'd cope if she lost James in real life.
Peach: You coward! Count the number of times I have been kidnapped by Bowser, which is more than I can count. Let's not forget the fact I was almost married to Booster, the time when Bowser had the Star Rod and it seemed like Mario had died right before my eyes, when Cackletta captured me and nearly stole my voice, set in situations that could've meant my death, and do you see me whining that I'll never cope, even after these events were long past? After going through all that, how is a dream going to amount to anything? That's what I'd like to know!
Everyone Else: oO;
Bowser: …Whoa. You've snapped. oO;
Mario: ...Well, back when Booster was trying to marry you, you did cry over dropping your crown. ^^;
Peach: *laughs and pats the back of her head* So I cried… ^^; But it was over Booster, really.
In the kitchen, the kettle on the stove began to whistle, but Jessie didn't hear it. After a few minutes, the whistle became a scream, but she still paid it no mind. She was too wrapped up in her grief to even care anymore.
Geno: You're letting a filled kettle boil over to the point where it could possibly blow up the cabin along with James, who is still alive, and yourself in it, and you don't even care anymore?
Peach: She's too busy being wrapped up in a dream, that's why. *grumble*
A few more minutes passed, and the screaming kettle suddenly became silent.
Luigi: Intonation to countdown! 10… 9… 8…
"You know, you really shouldn't let that thing boil over," James chided her. "It might...."
But as he stepped closer to the couch and saw that Jessie was crying, he forgot all about the kettle.
Daisy: Aw, he turned it off! Too bad.
"Jess! What's the matter, sweetheart?!" he asked as he knelt next to her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.
Luigi: *as Jessie* *sniff* I can’t believe "Friends" is finally over! *SOB*
Bowser: *as James* There, there Jessie… you know I wasn’t happy either when “Dora the Explorer” got cancelled!
Jessie stopped crying when she heard the sound of James's voice and felt his warm, soft hand caressing her. She looked up at him and saw a concerned expression on his face.
He was a completely different man from the one she'd seen in her nightmare.
Daisy: Of course—that’s ‘cause he’s Butch. That’s why “James” had sounded so “croaked” lately.
When James had been dying in her dream, all of the light had gone out of his eyes, and they'd faded to a dull mossy color, but when she saw him now, his eyes were the same sparkling emerald-green that they'd always been.
Luigi: Ooh… James has light-bulbs for eyes!
Bowser: *as Jessie* Hey James, those are some really funky contact lenses you have there! Where can I get some?
Peach: *as James* At J.C. Penny! :DDD
And in the dream, his blue-violet hair had become limp and tangled from lack of grooming, but now, it was as soft, smooth, and shiny as ever. The pallid, gaunt, shell of a man that she'd seen in the nightmare was gone, and a rosy, healthy-looking one had taken his place.
Daisy: That’s ‘cause he’s been replaced with his stunt double. In case he has to touch a burning kettle to prevent it from getting in the way of he and Jessie’s True Love.
Peach: Jessie, James, and the tea kettle… the ultimate love triangle!
The only imperfection she could see now was that his nose was a little red, but that was only because he'd gone through an entire box of kleenex over the past few days, and he still had a case of the sniffles.
Daisy: Actually, the real reason was James had been reading Playboy magazines in bed.
James wasn't dying --
Bowser: No. He was DYING. *cackles*
Luigi: I wish…
he was just recovering from a cold! Still, the very sight of him reminded her of everything she'd seen in her nightmare, and she burst into tears again.
Everybody: …*sigh*
Mario: We'll get back to this later. Have a nice break...
Daisy: Whew… thank God! I could use a breather right now. *follows the others out*
End of Part 1
To be continued…
@->->-
