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grapegardenPuri loves Teddy/Loid~ ♥♥♥♥♥ You can blame Jean for that. XD As her curiosity for the ship grew, Puri wanted to RP. This? Was the result. And now Puri loves them even more. X3
Beauty is skin-deep. But what if you believe you're ugly inside? What makes a monster and what makes a man?
Title: Beneath the Shades
Author: Puri &![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jeansama
Fandom: Earthbound 0/Mother
Genre: Drama/Erotica
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Lemon/Graphic Sex, violence, abuse, strong language, mentions of smoking
Ships/Characters: Teddy/Loid
Finished: No
((Teddy = Puri
Loid = Jean))
Ellay never sleeps. The woods near Mt. Itoi would be a refreshing refuge, but as the buffalo herds and snakes would tell you (if you spoke animal), it wasn't any better there either. A tiny shack tucked itself in a clearing, booming the crack of thunder from rock n' roll as the night filled with music, with nothing to disturb the muscled man and his guitar.
There was someone coming steadily in that direction—a small, bespectacled boy in a baggy red hoodie hoisting a bag over one shoulder that held only the necessities; tools and some bottle rockets, in case any of the animals decided that he would make a nice meal. Soft footsteps halted just outside the door as Loid pauses to catch his breath, listening to the music coming from inside as his fingers rest on the door handle. Quietly, he opens and peeks through the crack of a doorway, not wanting to disturb his friend and distract him from his playing, even though Teddy had invited him to come over.
This was his pride and joy... since Giegue's fall, he had never felt anything so liberating. Grinning wildly as his teeth shined in the light, Teddy poured himself in the groove, breaking out with his guitar as music raged and shook the room. The walls trembled, and he gave it all in his final note, pleased how it rang in his ears. Practice session was a success tonight.
Light rose tinted Loid's cheeks, watching his emotional performance in silent rapture from the doorway. Violet-grey eyes widened when it was over, nervousness twisting in his stomach when it was only a matter of time before Teddy noticed him. His shyness provoked a squeak as these thoughts ran through his head, pretty silver hair falling in his face as he looked down. Why did he always make himself look stupid?
"...H—hi."
Teddy stopped, lowering his guitar when he glanced at the doorway. Shades reflecting a citrus sheen, he recognized the figure who stood by the door, and nodded to him. "Hey, come in!"
A cautious step and Loid was actually standing inside the shack. With ever-constant timidity, he pushed the door closed and took his time to walk over to him, glancing over his glasses at the blurry image of Teddy.
"Make yourself comfortable!" The rock singer stretched his arms. "Not much here, but plenty of soft furniture to crash in. Relax!"
"O-okay!" Teddy's enthusiasm was kind of contagious, even if Loid's shyness showed as he fell back on the couch, hands clasping his knees. "It.." The prodigy glanced at his lap. "It was really good. Th.. e song, you just played, I mean."
"Thanks man!" Teddy opened a small fridge. "You like water? Or soda or something?"
"I-I'm fine.." Loid was actually really thirsty, but his shyness liked to speak for him like that.
Teddy shrugged, tossing him an ice water.
"Good to see you again Loid."
"You too." Loid smiled. He flinched somewhat as he caught the bottle, the water from the ice in the cooler making him shiver.
"Yeah... what brings you here?" The rock star sat beside him. Ever since Loid returned to Mt. Itoi and saved his life, Teddy developed respect for the man with the glasses. He, like Ninten and Ana, was one of the few people that shown him kindness instead of awe or fear. But Loid shouldn't have treated him so respectfully, not after he dismissed the shy genius in Ellay for his weakness. Little did the ex-gang leader know then, that strength wasn't just in fists. The people who understood that most were the meekest of men, and that was Loid.
"I..." Fingers clutch the freezing bottle, Loid feeling practically his whole body burning up. There was only one reason that he had come to Ellay... but, he couldn't tell him! "Y.. you invited me over..." He mumbled, doubting that it'll get him off the hook, since it didn't at all explain what he had been doing by himself in Ellay in the first place.
"Right... I did." Teddy absently fiddled his guitar. "You feeling all right? None of my old men gave you a hard time, did they?" He was famous now, and could afford decent housing; but the ex-gang leader's roots hadn't loosened their grip on him, visages of past life making vicious glances at him from the allies.
"No, no..." Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, Loid smiled with a small shake of his head. "I'm fine."
His nerves subsided a little as the danger of his feelings being exposed lessened. Blinking, the prodigy gave a turn to the bottle cap, gritting his teeth as he struggled to open it.
"I'll help with that."
"You—you don't h—!"
But Teddy's strong hands grabbing the bottle away stole Loid's words, his fingers shyly withdrawing at the brush of contact. The weakling cursed his heart as it skipped in his chest, staring at his lap. So... his feelings really hadn't changed, all that time. He felt ashamed... he knew it was wrong. Even if he didn't fully understand, he knew what was as clear as day to him—he had a very large... crush. On Teddy. A quite toned... male... ex-gang-but-basically-still-gang-member.
As Teddy took the bottle and twisted it, the cap hissed upon release, wobbling loose atop the bottle. He swore to hell if any of them touched Loid, they were gonna get it in any way possible. Lawsuit, jail, those were a few options Teddy could do, now that he was rich. But if he had to, he would get down and dirty, and none of the perpetrators would recognize themselves in the mirror when he was through... Teddy sighed, handing Loid the bottle, his face still hot. But that could've been anger. Dammit, Loid never gave himself enough credit. He deserved everything good, he—Teddy distracted himself by plucking a few more notes, trying to cool his head and get together.
"Thanks..." Loid said, jostled from his thoughts. The bottle felt warmer now, but it was likely his imagination. Looking from the corner of his eye, he watched the random strumming, calming sounds that almost reminded him of fingers idly plucking a harp. He rubbed his fingers—they stung now from his attempt. Why were bottles so hard to open? He had no trouble dealing with bottle rockets.
"I used to think I was so smart..." a song picked up right away and Teddy sang along, the slow tune like a lullaby. Just like when he first met them at the Live House, yes...
Lips to the top of the bottle, Loid felt so shy sitting right by him as he was playing—there was something about being so close to the guitar, the sound was... raw? It was nothing like hearing it in the crowd, projected from a big stage. It felt more personal.
"I used to walk the avenue, all by myself with nothin' to do." He looked up at Loid with a sentimental gleam from his shades. "Kickin' at cans, half of a man 'till I met you, and I knew... Hey, you know this song, don't you? Sing with me. C'mon!"
Eyes widened, Loid almost dropped the bottle, his lip slipping from it in surprise.
"I-I—I can't—" He squeaked, blushing at the suggestion—and the song. "I'mnogood..." He mumbled, hardly counting singing in an overly girly, sorely unused voice to save the world as any sort of talent.
"You don't fool me, man. I heard you onstage." Ninten, Ana and Loid had their own verses that day, before coming together and sounding like the angels... something about Loid's voice chilled him hardest, a sweetness he never heard sung before.
Swallowing hard, Loid was an embarrassed mess, looking up at him with an unsure gaze. "...'ve looked for you—a-all of my life..." From a whisper, the weakling's voice rose a little, insides twisting at the words. Sure, it was a song, it wasn't like he was confessing or anything, but... it really felt like more than just a song. He wanted to hear it again, imagine himself as that person referred to... he never expected to be coaxed into singing it himself.
Teddy's deep baritone invited Loid along, his guitar becoming alive. The teeth in his grin shined as the one in glasses gained confidence, enticed into duet, voices meshing together like the most beautiful jigsaw puzzle.
"And now I know..."
"All that I needed was you..."
Loid's fingers gripped the bottle in his lap tightly, but he didn't notice, motivated by the other singing even though the prodigy thought his own sounded ridiculous, and god it made him anxious and oh, so embarrassed... His eyes slipped close, subconsciously fighting off a secret warm feeling in his chest.
"And now at last my life's complete
Baby, your love's the missing piece
Here in my arms, here in my heart
All that I needed was you..."
Lips lingering on the last note, Loid's face was a deep red as the song came to an end. Snapping out of the trance he had fallen into, he quickly shied back to his former self, extremely flustered. He couldn't hear that song without everything hitting him all at once; toes nervously curling into the floor as he feigned taking a drink to hide his face. Even if he hadn't really... he.. he said all that..! Even if...
"Loid...?" Teddy whispered. "Hey, you were great. What's wrong?"
The compliment didn't help. Nearly choking on his water, Loid shied further into himself, legs pressing together as his knuckled turned white from grip. "N-Nothing..." He was just embarrassed...! Just embarrassed...!
"Loid...." A churn of guilt tugged Teddy's stomach. Way to go, asshole. Look what you've done. "I-It's all right..."
"I... I-I just get... really embarrassed—about my singing.... s'all..." Loid squeaked, long, silky locks of silver hanging down his face.
Setting down his guitar, the rock singer pat him on the shoulder. "You did good. Really... I like your singing."
Oh—oh god! Loid startled at the contact, cheeks burning. "Um... th—thanks..." He shook, he was so scared, though he tried his best to hide it.
"I mean it. I don't give cheap praise for free."
"I know." Loid couldn't take his thoughts off of that touch, that hold—however small. "I know..." Why did he have to feel like this? Was it too much to ask to be normal in any way?
"Right... there was something else you wanted to tell me, didn't you? I didn't want you to risk your butt to come find me here for nothing."
Looking down, Loid didn't know if he had it in him to speak anymore. If he asked so bluntly, what could he possibly say?
"I.." His hand clutched at his chest, gripping thick red cloth as he turned from Teddy. "I... wanted to see you.."
"I know." Teddy held Loid, hand petting his back to calm him. He was so small the ex-gang leader could snap him like a twig if he wasn't careful.
The bottle fell from Loid's hands, water spilling on the floor. His eyes widened as he was pulled closer. Everything seemed to freeze—his heart skipped a beat, warm and fluttering. He was... just where he'd always wanted to be. But.. he shouldn't think that, should he..?
"I guess I.. should've asked Ninten to help, but... I wanted to come by myself." I didn't want to come as a weakling.
"Crazy bastard. It's dangerous to walk around Ellay alone. You could've been beaten by thugs." Or worse... but Teddy tried not to think about it, though the nothing made him uncomfortable.
"I—.... s-sorry." Loid felt a little guilty, knowing that his friends worried themselves sick about his safety. "But I really wanted to see you..!" It came out so clear and emotional, his eyes shaking with prelude to tears.
"Your friends don't want you to get hurt." Teddy became quiet. Loid was so close to crying already... "Hell, I don't want you to get hurt either. You're my friend too."
"I—I didn't know what else to do!" Loid choked, shaking against the larger man's frame. His face contorted in emotion, tears slipping from his eyes; sudden and fluid. He didn't have the strength to hold them back, covering his eyes with trembling fingers. He had to come... he'd missed him so much, it had become unbearable..!
Now what? Teddy thought. By far, everything he had done for Loid only hurt him more. The most he could do was keep him in embrace, running a hand through ash-colored hair. If Ninten was here, he'd know what to do. But he wasn't, so... "It's... okay. I love you."
Loid froze, tears still pouring from his eyes as they slipped from his chin onto Teddy's shirt. If his face could have grown redder it would have, fingers emotionally clawing at his face. His eyes were wide in shock, fingers in his hair sending a nauseous chill up his spine.
"W-w—what? I...!" Not love like this. You don't understand!
"Loid, I don't understand. I want to help..."
Eyes shaking, Loid looked up at him confused, eyes wide and sparkling a brighter colour than usual from his tears.
"N-no, It's.. I'm f-fine..!" Sobbing, he weakly made to pull away, desperately trying to cover his face. He was so scared.. he didn't want Teddy to know how much he loved him.. it was wrong. Dirty, blasphemous! "You're such a fag." Memories of darkness, the only ray of light the small crack as he peeked wearily through the lid to a garbage can, bruised and bleeding and choking back his sobs to keep quiet.
Teddy didn't say a word. He kept shut out of sincerity, but he was getting tired of being sincere. Loid wasn't telling him something, and he was fed up with being patient. Danger shaved his voice as he stood up and stared at Loid.
"No. You're not."
"...!" Loid's body tensed. Gripping his arm, he looked of to the side, hurt at the memories, hurt as his feelings and their potential ability for destruction. He didn't know what to do, and now Teddy was getting frustrated.
"I.. I know—!" He sobbed, choking on his words. "P-pleas—d-don't...!"
"Look, if you're going to hide from me, then do it." He snarled. "Don't come out here to cower in my direction. But know you're only hurting yourself, Loid. You know what happens if you hide in Ellay? Do you?"
Breath hitching, Loid turned toward him, gaze cast to the floor as his hands wrung at his chest. Teddy's words struck a cord—no. He... he wouldn't hide. Especially not from his friends, or... or Teddy. Even if...
"I-I'm so scared.. that you'll hate me!" He looked up as he pushed the words out, hurt and dread returning Teddy's stare.
It was about survival. You lived or you're roadkill. He grabbed Loid by the collar of his shirt, huffing as his arm trembled, resisting the urge to shake the frightened man senseless.
"You want to end up in the gutter? Maybe it's for people like you, but I sure as fucking hell wouldn't!" At this point, Teddy didn't bother watching his language. "Listen up and listen good. If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'll force it out of you. Understood?"
Gasping, Loid's arms fell limp at his sides, fear briefly overwhelming his senses. After a second they rose somewhat in protest, but he knew it was useless to fight Teddy's strength. Petrified in fear, fresh tears streamed from his eyes.
"No! T.. Teddy.." He tried to struggle for a moment, weak hands clasped around large wrists. He was going to wind up there either way...! "You don't understand... I—! I..... love you.." He's going to beat me. He's going to beat me..
Beneath the citrus shades, Teddy's eyes widened. Something pierced him in the heart with a nail, a voice in the back of his subconscious condemning him for his present actions. Teddy lowered Loid to the ground. As he watched his friend break on the floor, the ex-gang leader felt his skin tremble as if he done an unforgivable sin. He understood.
Loid fell to his knees, grasping at his neck where the hood of his sweatshirt dug in, feeling sick.
"...I—I l-love you, in... that way." He choked, sounding desolate. "I-It's wrong, I know it's wrong, I...I'm so sorry, so—oh god..!" His fingers threaded through his hair, tensing with the trembling of his body.
Teddy didn't know what to make of this. Loid... loved him? Teddy had servants, enemies... what he truly cared for, family, was gone. Ninten and Ana were his friends and Loid... Loid loved him. Of all people. Teddy, ex-leader of the Bla-Bla Gang and more violent and gruesome than anything Merrysville could spit. Loid... loved him?
If I wasn't like this, this never would've happened. Everything would be okay! They... they were right, after all... despite Ninten's constant reassurance. Ana's smiles. And Teddy... Teddy hated him now. His hands met the floor as he fell forward, crying silently; no strength left for anything else.
Teddy bent on one knee as he tried to connect. "You... love me?"
Squeezing his eyes shut, tears fell to the floor below, fear twisting in the pit of Loid's stomach. His voice was darkly submissive—giving into his fate with no other options for him. "Yes."
Trembling, Teddy took one of Loid's hands, trying to assure him through touch he wasn't a threat. His face twisted, fighting to keep cool and stoic.
Loid flinched instantly, expecting to be dragged off and beaten. When he wasn't, tear-clouded eyes flickered to Teddy' hand over his, hard to see with his glasses so clouded.
"Look, I—sorry for earlier. I don't hate you, and I'm not gonna beat you up. Loid...."
"What? But—" Loid didn't get it. After all that, was he trying to fake him out, so that he'd get him real good when he looked up? His body shaking, he didn't know what to do, or how to feel.
"I... I'm not really your type. I'm big and mean, and—I'd break your heart."
Loid recoiled somewhat like a small child, though he seemed hesitant to take his hand away from Teddy's hold. Wasn't he going to hit him, already..? The words did, though, like a slap to the face—though a far cry from getting physically hit.
"Y—you can't s-say that.." Teddy was big and strong.. admirable and manly—everything he wasn't. And on top of that, Teddy had changed his life, against all odds.. throwing everything he knew away but his guitar. Loid couldn't help finding him so endearing.
"But... Loid, look at me. I..." Everything coming out of his mouth was bullshit. But he was so confused...
Loid did hesitantly, his eyes sad and tear-stained. "B-but I'm..." Dirty, sick, despicable! You don't want to look at me.
"I don't know what to say. Give me time to think about it..." Teddy shook his head. "We can go for coffee tomorrow... talk things over. You know, nothing like a good cappuccino."
"Y.. you mean you're.. not going to hurt me?" Loid sniffled as he rubbed a sleeve to his nose. Eyes lowering, they traced the floor. "O-.. okay." It was hard to feel relieved, but he felt a little calmer now, at least. The rock singer's hand lay on Loid's shoulder again.
"I'm not going to hurt you. You're my friend. Uh... y-you know what I mean." He hated to see the poor bastard break down like that. "Let me take you to bed... I'll be on the couch if you need me."
Loid wanted to take those words to heart so badly, but he'd been scared and threatened, and his past only made it worse... nodding in exhaustion, the weakling struggled to stand, swaying a little with his hands held at his front.
"Okay." It was so quiet it was barely audible, his heart caught painfully in his chest.
Teddy left the door open in case Loid needed anything. He sat back on the couch holding his guitar, but he couldn't bring himself the heart to play. The few notes that echoed was a lullaby that rocked Loid to sleep; uncertainty in the form of a gentle ballad.
Beauty is skin-deep. But what if you believe you're ugly inside? What makes a monster and what makes a man?
Title: Beneath the Shades
Author: Puri &
jeansamaFandom: Earthbound 0/Mother
Genre: Drama/Erotica
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Lemon/Graphic Sex, violence, abuse, strong language, mentions of smoking
Ships/Characters: Teddy/Loid
Finished: No
((Teddy = Puri
Loid = Jean))
Ellay never sleeps. The woods near Mt. Itoi would be a refreshing refuge, but as the buffalo herds and snakes would tell you (if you spoke animal), it wasn't any better there either. A tiny shack tucked itself in a clearing, booming the crack of thunder from rock n' roll as the night filled with music, with nothing to disturb the muscled man and his guitar.
There was someone coming steadily in that direction—a small, bespectacled boy in a baggy red hoodie hoisting a bag over one shoulder that held only the necessities; tools and some bottle rockets, in case any of the animals decided that he would make a nice meal. Soft footsteps halted just outside the door as Loid pauses to catch his breath, listening to the music coming from inside as his fingers rest on the door handle. Quietly, he opens and peeks through the crack of a doorway, not wanting to disturb his friend and distract him from his playing, even though Teddy had invited him to come over.
This was his pride and joy... since Giegue's fall, he had never felt anything so liberating. Grinning wildly as his teeth shined in the light, Teddy poured himself in the groove, breaking out with his guitar as music raged and shook the room. The walls trembled, and he gave it all in his final note, pleased how it rang in his ears. Practice session was a success tonight.
Light rose tinted Loid's cheeks, watching his emotional performance in silent rapture from the doorway. Violet-grey eyes widened when it was over, nervousness twisting in his stomach when it was only a matter of time before Teddy noticed him. His shyness provoked a squeak as these thoughts ran through his head, pretty silver hair falling in his face as he looked down. Why did he always make himself look stupid?
"...H—hi."
Teddy stopped, lowering his guitar when he glanced at the doorway. Shades reflecting a citrus sheen, he recognized the figure who stood by the door, and nodded to him. "Hey, come in!"
A cautious step and Loid was actually standing inside the shack. With ever-constant timidity, he pushed the door closed and took his time to walk over to him, glancing over his glasses at the blurry image of Teddy.
"Make yourself comfortable!" The rock singer stretched his arms. "Not much here, but plenty of soft furniture to crash in. Relax!"
"O-okay!" Teddy's enthusiasm was kind of contagious, even if Loid's shyness showed as he fell back on the couch, hands clasping his knees. "It.." The prodigy glanced at his lap. "It was really good. Th.. e song, you just played, I mean."
"Thanks man!" Teddy opened a small fridge. "You like water? Or soda or something?"
"I-I'm fine.." Loid was actually really thirsty, but his shyness liked to speak for him like that.
Teddy shrugged, tossing him an ice water.
"Good to see you again Loid."
"You too." Loid smiled. He flinched somewhat as he caught the bottle, the water from the ice in the cooler making him shiver.
"Yeah... what brings you here?" The rock star sat beside him. Ever since Loid returned to Mt. Itoi and saved his life, Teddy developed respect for the man with the glasses. He, like Ninten and Ana, was one of the few people that shown him kindness instead of awe or fear. But Loid shouldn't have treated him so respectfully, not after he dismissed the shy genius in Ellay for his weakness. Little did the ex-gang leader know then, that strength wasn't just in fists. The people who understood that most were the meekest of men, and that was Loid.
"I..." Fingers clutch the freezing bottle, Loid feeling practically his whole body burning up. There was only one reason that he had come to Ellay... but, he couldn't tell him! "Y.. you invited me over..." He mumbled, doubting that it'll get him off the hook, since it didn't at all explain what he had been doing by himself in Ellay in the first place.
"Right... I did." Teddy absently fiddled his guitar. "You feeling all right? None of my old men gave you a hard time, did they?" He was famous now, and could afford decent housing; but the ex-gang leader's roots hadn't loosened their grip on him, visages of past life making vicious glances at him from the allies.
"No, no..." Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, Loid smiled with a small shake of his head. "I'm fine."
His nerves subsided a little as the danger of his feelings being exposed lessened. Blinking, the prodigy gave a turn to the bottle cap, gritting his teeth as he struggled to open it.
"I'll help with that."
"You—you don't h—!"
But Teddy's strong hands grabbing the bottle away stole Loid's words, his fingers shyly withdrawing at the brush of contact. The weakling cursed his heart as it skipped in his chest, staring at his lap. So... his feelings really hadn't changed, all that time. He felt ashamed... he knew it was wrong. Even if he didn't fully understand, he knew what was as clear as day to him—he had a very large... crush. On Teddy. A quite toned... male... ex-gang-but-basically-still-gang-member.
As Teddy took the bottle and twisted it, the cap hissed upon release, wobbling loose atop the bottle. He swore to hell if any of them touched Loid, they were gonna get it in any way possible. Lawsuit, jail, those were a few options Teddy could do, now that he was rich. But if he had to, he would get down and dirty, and none of the perpetrators would recognize themselves in the mirror when he was through... Teddy sighed, handing Loid the bottle, his face still hot. But that could've been anger. Dammit, Loid never gave himself enough credit. He deserved everything good, he—Teddy distracted himself by plucking a few more notes, trying to cool his head and get together.
"Thanks..." Loid said, jostled from his thoughts. The bottle felt warmer now, but it was likely his imagination. Looking from the corner of his eye, he watched the random strumming, calming sounds that almost reminded him of fingers idly plucking a harp. He rubbed his fingers—they stung now from his attempt. Why were bottles so hard to open? He had no trouble dealing with bottle rockets.
"I used to think I was so smart..." a song picked up right away and Teddy sang along, the slow tune like a lullaby. Just like when he first met them at the Live House, yes...
Lips to the top of the bottle, Loid felt so shy sitting right by him as he was playing—there was something about being so close to the guitar, the sound was... raw? It was nothing like hearing it in the crowd, projected from a big stage. It felt more personal.
"I used to walk the avenue, all by myself with nothin' to do." He looked up at Loid with a sentimental gleam from his shades. "Kickin' at cans, half of a man 'till I met you, and I knew... Hey, you know this song, don't you? Sing with me. C'mon!"
Eyes widened, Loid almost dropped the bottle, his lip slipping from it in surprise.
"I-I—I can't—" He squeaked, blushing at the suggestion—and the song. "I'mnogood..." He mumbled, hardly counting singing in an overly girly, sorely unused voice to save the world as any sort of talent.
"You don't fool me, man. I heard you onstage." Ninten, Ana and Loid had their own verses that day, before coming together and sounding like the angels... something about Loid's voice chilled him hardest, a sweetness he never heard sung before.
Swallowing hard, Loid was an embarrassed mess, looking up at him with an unsure gaze. "...'ve looked for you—a-all of my life..." From a whisper, the weakling's voice rose a little, insides twisting at the words. Sure, it was a song, it wasn't like he was confessing or anything, but... it really felt like more than just a song. He wanted to hear it again, imagine himself as that person referred to... he never expected to be coaxed into singing it himself.
Teddy's deep baritone invited Loid along, his guitar becoming alive. The teeth in his grin shined as the one in glasses gained confidence, enticed into duet, voices meshing together like the most beautiful jigsaw puzzle.
"And now I know..."
"All that I needed was you..."
Loid's fingers gripped the bottle in his lap tightly, but he didn't notice, motivated by the other singing even though the prodigy thought his own sounded ridiculous, and god it made him anxious and oh, so embarrassed... His eyes slipped close, subconsciously fighting off a secret warm feeling in his chest.
"And now at last my life's complete
Baby, your love's the missing piece
Here in my arms, here in my heart
All that I needed was you..."
Lips lingering on the last note, Loid's face was a deep red as the song came to an end. Snapping out of the trance he had fallen into, he quickly shied back to his former self, extremely flustered. He couldn't hear that song without everything hitting him all at once; toes nervously curling into the floor as he feigned taking a drink to hide his face. Even if he hadn't really... he.. he said all that..! Even if...
"Loid...?" Teddy whispered. "Hey, you were great. What's wrong?"
The compliment didn't help. Nearly choking on his water, Loid shied further into himself, legs pressing together as his knuckled turned white from grip. "N-Nothing..." He was just embarrassed...! Just embarrassed...!
"Loid...." A churn of guilt tugged Teddy's stomach. Way to go, asshole. Look what you've done. "I-It's all right..."
"I... I-I just get... really embarrassed—about my singing.... s'all..." Loid squeaked, long, silky locks of silver hanging down his face.
Setting down his guitar, the rock singer pat him on the shoulder. "You did good. Really... I like your singing."
Oh—oh god! Loid startled at the contact, cheeks burning. "Um... th—thanks..." He shook, he was so scared, though he tried his best to hide it.
"I mean it. I don't give cheap praise for free."
"I know." Loid couldn't take his thoughts off of that touch, that hold—however small. "I know..." Why did he have to feel like this? Was it too much to ask to be normal in any way?
"Right... there was something else you wanted to tell me, didn't you? I didn't want you to risk your butt to come find me here for nothing."
Looking down, Loid didn't know if he had it in him to speak anymore. If he asked so bluntly, what could he possibly say?
"I.." His hand clutched at his chest, gripping thick red cloth as he turned from Teddy. "I... wanted to see you.."
"I know." Teddy held Loid, hand petting his back to calm him. He was so small the ex-gang leader could snap him like a twig if he wasn't careful.
The bottle fell from Loid's hands, water spilling on the floor. His eyes widened as he was pulled closer. Everything seemed to freeze—his heart skipped a beat, warm and fluttering. He was... just where he'd always wanted to be. But.. he shouldn't think that, should he..?
"I guess I.. should've asked Ninten to help, but... I wanted to come by myself." I didn't want to come as a weakling.
"Crazy bastard. It's dangerous to walk around Ellay alone. You could've been beaten by thugs." Or worse... but Teddy tried not to think about it, though the nothing made him uncomfortable.
"I—.... s-sorry." Loid felt a little guilty, knowing that his friends worried themselves sick about his safety. "But I really wanted to see you..!" It came out so clear and emotional, his eyes shaking with prelude to tears.
"Your friends don't want you to get hurt." Teddy became quiet. Loid was so close to crying already... "Hell, I don't want you to get hurt either. You're my friend too."
"I—I didn't know what else to do!" Loid choked, shaking against the larger man's frame. His face contorted in emotion, tears slipping from his eyes; sudden and fluid. He didn't have the strength to hold them back, covering his eyes with trembling fingers. He had to come... he'd missed him so much, it had become unbearable..!
Now what? Teddy thought. By far, everything he had done for Loid only hurt him more. The most he could do was keep him in embrace, running a hand through ash-colored hair. If Ninten was here, he'd know what to do. But he wasn't, so... "It's... okay. I love you."
Loid froze, tears still pouring from his eyes as they slipped from his chin onto Teddy's shirt. If his face could have grown redder it would have, fingers emotionally clawing at his face. His eyes were wide in shock, fingers in his hair sending a nauseous chill up his spine.
"W-w—what? I...!" Not love like this. You don't understand!
"Loid, I don't understand. I want to help..."
Eyes shaking, Loid looked up at him confused, eyes wide and sparkling a brighter colour than usual from his tears.
"N-no, It's.. I'm f-fine..!" Sobbing, he weakly made to pull away, desperately trying to cover his face. He was so scared.. he didn't want Teddy to know how much he loved him.. it was wrong. Dirty, blasphemous! "You're such a fag." Memories of darkness, the only ray of light the small crack as he peeked wearily through the lid to a garbage can, bruised and bleeding and choking back his sobs to keep quiet.
Teddy didn't say a word. He kept shut out of sincerity, but he was getting tired of being sincere. Loid wasn't telling him something, and he was fed up with being patient. Danger shaved his voice as he stood up and stared at Loid.
"No. You're not."
"...!" Loid's body tensed. Gripping his arm, he looked of to the side, hurt at the memories, hurt as his feelings and their potential ability for destruction. He didn't know what to do, and now Teddy was getting frustrated.
"I.. I know—!" He sobbed, choking on his words. "P-pleas—d-don't...!"
"Look, if you're going to hide from me, then do it." He snarled. "Don't come out here to cower in my direction. But know you're only hurting yourself, Loid. You know what happens if you hide in Ellay? Do you?"
Breath hitching, Loid turned toward him, gaze cast to the floor as his hands wrung at his chest. Teddy's words struck a cord—no. He... he wouldn't hide. Especially not from his friends, or... or Teddy. Even if...
"I-I'm so scared.. that you'll hate me!" He looked up as he pushed the words out, hurt and dread returning Teddy's stare.
It was about survival. You lived or you're roadkill. He grabbed Loid by the collar of his shirt, huffing as his arm trembled, resisting the urge to shake the frightened man senseless.
"You want to end up in the gutter? Maybe it's for people like you, but I sure as fucking hell wouldn't!" At this point, Teddy didn't bother watching his language. "Listen up and listen good. If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'll force it out of you. Understood?"
Gasping, Loid's arms fell limp at his sides, fear briefly overwhelming his senses. After a second they rose somewhat in protest, but he knew it was useless to fight Teddy's strength. Petrified in fear, fresh tears streamed from his eyes.
"No! T.. Teddy.." He tried to struggle for a moment, weak hands clasped around large wrists. He was going to wind up there either way...! "You don't understand... I—! I..... love you.." He's going to beat me. He's going to beat me..
Beneath the citrus shades, Teddy's eyes widened. Something pierced him in the heart with a nail, a voice in the back of his subconscious condemning him for his present actions. Teddy lowered Loid to the ground. As he watched his friend break on the floor, the ex-gang leader felt his skin tremble as if he done an unforgivable sin. He understood.
Loid fell to his knees, grasping at his neck where the hood of his sweatshirt dug in, feeling sick.
"...I—I l-love you, in... that way." He choked, sounding desolate. "I-It's wrong, I know it's wrong, I...I'm so sorry, so—oh god..!" His fingers threaded through his hair, tensing with the trembling of his body.
Teddy didn't know what to make of this. Loid... loved him? Teddy had servants, enemies... what he truly cared for, family, was gone. Ninten and Ana were his friends and Loid... Loid loved him. Of all people. Teddy, ex-leader of the Bla-Bla Gang and more violent and gruesome than anything Merrysville could spit. Loid... loved him?
If I wasn't like this, this never would've happened. Everything would be okay! They... they were right, after all... despite Ninten's constant reassurance. Ana's smiles. And Teddy... Teddy hated him now. His hands met the floor as he fell forward, crying silently; no strength left for anything else.
Teddy bent on one knee as he tried to connect. "You... love me?"
Squeezing his eyes shut, tears fell to the floor below, fear twisting in the pit of Loid's stomach. His voice was darkly submissive—giving into his fate with no other options for him. "Yes."
Trembling, Teddy took one of Loid's hands, trying to assure him through touch he wasn't a threat. His face twisted, fighting to keep cool and stoic.
Loid flinched instantly, expecting to be dragged off and beaten. When he wasn't, tear-clouded eyes flickered to Teddy' hand over his, hard to see with his glasses so clouded.
"Look, I—sorry for earlier. I don't hate you, and I'm not gonna beat you up. Loid...."
"What? But—" Loid didn't get it. After all that, was he trying to fake him out, so that he'd get him real good when he looked up? His body shaking, he didn't know what to do, or how to feel.
"I... I'm not really your type. I'm big and mean, and—I'd break your heart."
Loid recoiled somewhat like a small child, though he seemed hesitant to take his hand away from Teddy's hold. Wasn't he going to hit him, already..? The words did, though, like a slap to the face—though a far cry from getting physically hit.
"Y—you can't s-say that.." Teddy was big and strong.. admirable and manly—everything he wasn't. And on top of that, Teddy had changed his life, against all odds.. throwing everything he knew away but his guitar. Loid couldn't help finding him so endearing.
"But... Loid, look at me. I..." Everything coming out of his mouth was bullshit. But he was so confused...
Loid did hesitantly, his eyes sad and tear-stained. "B-but I'm..." Dirty, sick, despicable! You don't want to look at me.
"I don't know what to say. Give me time to think about it..." Teddy shook his head. "We can go for coffee tomorrow... talk things over. You know, nothing like a good cappuccino."
"Y.. you mean you're.. not going to hurt me?" Loid sniffled as he rubbed a sleeve to his nose. Eyes lowering, they traced the floor. "O-.. okay." It was hard to feel relieved, but he felt a little calmer now, at least. The rock singer's hand lay on Loid's shoulder again.
"I'm not going to hurt you. You're my friend. Uh... y-you know what I mean." He hated to see the poor bastard break down like that. "Let me take you to bed... I'll be on the couch if you need me."
Loid wanted to take those words to heart so badly, but he'd been scared and threatened, and his past only made it worse... nodding in exhaustion, the weakling struggled to stand, swaying a little with his hands held at his front.
"Okay." It was so quiet it was barely audible, his heart caught painfully in his chest.
Teddy left the door open in case Loid needed anything. He sat back on the couch holding his guitar, but he couldn't bring himself the heart to play. The few notes that echoed was a lullaby that rocked Loid to sleep; uncertainty in the form of a gentle ballad.
